My first response to the "who are you" question often plays with life's duality. I see it as necessary and complementary; not only for one's integrated self and wellbeing but simply for the fun of it!
I would describe myself as a deep thinker and also super nonchalantly playful. I've been described as wise and childlike at the same time. You might find me all giddy at a Hans Zimmer concert one day and getting nostalgic at Backstreet Boys another. I may choose to hermit it out on a weekend and then go out dancing for hours the next. Yin and Vinyasa. Classical and Electronic. Turmeric latte and G&T. The most hopeful optimist and unapologetically realistic when required. Pretty shallow, pretty deep. Easygoing and fiercely passionate. Sometimes afraid, still daring greatly.
What gives me this mental flexibility? Well, despite its challenges, I have my upbringing to thank. Packing up to move to another country and living solo since I was 12 years old certainly taught me a lot of street smarts. At one time, having to make $5 (yes, five dollars) work for a whole week certainly sparked one's creativity for survival. Life circumstances and environment trained me. I had to manage myself, my life, and my pain in a ship that had sailed without my agreement. So I had no choice but to learn to captain—fast.
Prior to that, I was living in what I call the darkest period of my life—experiencing constant daily physical, verbal, and mental abuse from a parent. It was just me and that parent alone in the house. It was scary. Neglect was happening too, which I only realised much later, from the other parent who had to save their own life. I sought help everywhere I could, but it seemed like my case might have been too complex for everyday, readily available counsellors or psychologists. So, I put the work to rest. Did I mention I also became an absolute master of escapism?
Cut to my adult life. I worked smart and hard; found myself with "everything a girl could ever want!" A successful fashion business with over $1 million in annual turnover, the absolute best of everything one can dare to name, and a partner with equally excellent taste and means for the finer things to travel the world with. It was perfect, on the outside.
One day, I had an epiphany—it was time to reset. Some things needed to change. Spiritual much? That's the only way to describe it.
Long story short, the only way I began to heal involved studying it all for myself—to put language into a lot of things I already learned through life and intuitively knew. All so that I could systematically take theories further to organise my thinking and understanding. I first became aware; then I started changing things around, as if redrawing the blueprint for the present I desire.
The future? It's done! If I can, one day at a time, do the present well, the future cannot be otherwise but bright!
How you do one thing is how you do everything. I see Luka as an extension of me. So when you get me—what I value, my beliefs, and my philosophy—you also get to the crux of Luka.
Let's put it this way; when I die, I want to be remembered to have lived by these values: Courage, freedom, fun, honesty, and integrity.
I believe that self-development, or "doing the work," is an important part of life. It is a lifelong adventure. It is why I've chosen to dedicate my life to it. There is no such thing as sticking to the one field you happen to choose when you were eighteen and be stuck at it for life. If you love it, great! You're the exception. But if you are sticking your guns because you've been told that's the "right way to do things," then I believe that makes life quite boring. Is it truly your guns you're sticking to? Or someone else's or the society's? What about the "right way to do life—your life?" There may be more to consider here.
I also believe that life's potentially way too fun to be stuck in a cage of employment. Tied to belief #1, go get the skills needed to run your own show, no matter what scale. Work hard—very hard—and then fly! Be doing work at home today, and then your fun office the next. Or choose to work only ten months out of the twelve just because you can. Now, this way, the world really becomes your oyster. Simply refuse experiencing life as a pickle all your life is a great start.
First of all, life has so far led me to conclude that I will have fun doing all things, including (even especially) my work. Fun is when I get to enjoy the full freedom to do things according to my values, beliefs, or even trivial desires of the moment. Things at Luka may not always seem "professional," if you prefer strictly proper external mannerisms, attires, or tones. You won't get that very much at Luka. Swipe left, hah!
Second, being courageous is about not majoring in minor things but daring to play big. Even a little bit afraid at times, but working my guts off to build the self-mastery to not sweat the little things—e.v.e.r.y.d.a.y. This philosophy is important, as I am what research consider a macro, or holistic, thinker. I like to look at the big picture and long term goals. In finding creative solutions that are actually sustainable for you take and use for life; often, this requires your willingness to put a pin on what's bothering you right now so that we can identify the core issue all along.
Third, in being brutally honest about everything, even painful truths. Delivering them kindly and respectfully. When it comes to the buzzword these days—empathy, walking in your shoes is something I have no choice about; it's how life raised me.
Ultimately, the end goal is integrity. Let me clarify, integrity represents the union of self; in being at peace about oneself and one's place in the world. To do the work enough, journey enough, and arrive in the version of me that's unafraid enough to be wholly me. Our sessions will not be perfect. I will make mistakes, forget things, or accidentally swear from time to time. On the flip side, you know that I show up fully me; so I hope you do too. There is seriously very little fiber of judgement in me.
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